Zazazu

It has come to my attention lately that I’m more plugged into my virtual life than I am my real life.

At first I hated hearing this. I was mad and none too impressed with this assumption. I didn’t like it at all. But then I started thinking about it and realized how very true it is.

I won’t even admit how much time I spend online everyday. I read blogs, I comment on them, I spend time answering and writing emails, I spend time on MySpace and MySpace groups, I check Etsy compulsively. This takes up time… a lot of it.

The person who told me that I spent too much time online proposed that I spend time online – in my virtual life – because I’m scared to live my own. In truth, I think she is right. I was thinking today of what I might do in lieu of spending all this time online and I really do not know. I really cannot think of things to do outside of the Internet.

Not good.

Now, I’m not about to re-nig on my NaBloPoMo commitment. I do plan to blog – thoughtfully – here everyday for the month of November. That is what I committed to do and I will uphold it. I also plan to keep reading all of the blogs that I love (seriously de-cluttered those some time ago) and commenting too. I know that I have friends in this community and want to keep those. Besides, I DO enjoy reading about what is going on your lives.

But all the other stuff, like mindless groups and friend collection pages… I don’t think so.

It is time I started learning – yes, LEARNING – how to live my life in real life. I have no idea how to live my life in real life as online is how I’ve done things for so long. I see and read about people who craft, craft, craft yet they post SO much on their blogs and email a ton too. I just wonder how they have time for it all or if they just manage their time better. I don’t know.

What I DO know is that I – me, myself, I – only have 24 hours in each day and I need to use them better. If anyone has advice on where to begin on this Internet-downsizing journey, please let me know. I’m not going to NO Internet but I at least need to go down 50%.

Please send me good vibes and any advice that you might have.

Don’t worry… you’ll hear from me again tomorrow. Or… maybe you should worry!

Oh and… HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

I recently hit a milestone – my 200th post – and hosted a little giveaway.  You can read all about it here.

Tonight I put all of your names – those regular commenters who left a comment on that specific post – into a bowl, swirled it around and choose three winners.   They are, in no particular order:

Pod Bobbins

Show Me More

Creative Everyday 

Upon further pondering, I have decided to offer ALL of you the magazine subscriptions, if you want them.  They are, as mentioned, to Body + Soul.   To those winners, please contact me (button above) and let me know what you prefer.  Thanks for playing, everyone!

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I know I’ve been kind of scrimping on posts lately but I was out of town yesterday and the past several days haven’t been the best of days.  I’m still dealing with some things and don’t feel like divulging it just yet.  I hope you all will bear with me.   I will try to post up something happy and carefree soon!

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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
–Pueblo Blessing

• Movies like Hostel and Saw - I understand that there are scary movies like Freddy Krueger or whatever but these go far and beyond that, in my opinion. I’ve not seen these but I’ve seen previews and glimpses of them and I just don’t get it. Why would someone want to watch things like this, the torture of other people? These, to me, are on par with snuff films.
• Why I get so much porn in my email box – I get a little bit of it all and this perplexes me. Do any of you get inundated with these type messages?
• Dancing With The Stars commercials – Ever since Marie Osmond passed out on the show, that is all they show as promotion for it. They say… “Anything can happen”… and then they show the footage of her passing out. What, I ask, does that have to do with dancing? Not much, I’d say.
• Blow-up holiday things to go in the front yard – I’ve seen these at different places and they are upwards of $200! I guess I’m cheap, or stingy, or unfestive but I can’t see paying that for a blow-up snowglobe that will be rained on, chewed on, mucky and dirty and then have to be stored in the attic.
• Telemarket calls that ask for whom you are voting in upcoming elections – I mean, isn’t this illegal?
• The Bachelor – Isn’t it statistically impossible that 25 girls ALL be head-over-hills, crazy and uncontrollably, cat-fighting level in love with the same guy, unless, of course, it is Justin Chambers or Colin Firth?
• Botox – Enough said.
• Why cats can’t puke in one spot – Why do they have to puke one puke in three or four different spots?
• Shows like Dr. Stevo – Why is this entertainment?  Men being ridiculous and being made into “men” via degrading and offensive methods?  Why is this on TV?  Am I just a prude?

Lots I don’t understand, I suppose.

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Update on the giveaway: As I will be out of town tomorrow, I will take comments on my 200th post giveaway until Tuesday morning. I will announce my winners on Tuesday evening. Leave me a comment on the 200th post to be entered!

My day yesterday wasn’t stellar thus the short post last night.  I’m not yet ready to divulge just what happened yesterday to make it less-than-stellar but I will soon.  Don’t worry for me though; it is all going to work out.

Instead, I will tell you what I’ve done today.

I’ve done little more than wish, hope, think and pray for this.

For at least a year now, I’ve been intrigued and fascinated by Blythe dolls… specifically the original 1972 ones that go for un-Godly amounts of money on eBay.   I don’t know what it is necessarily about me and dolls lately as I’ve also started collecting vintage Kokeshi dolls.   Kokeshis are so cute and really have a great history and are much more accessible than Blythe dolls.

What on earth would I do with a big-headed, over-priced Barbie doll, you ask?  Well, I would do this:

You see, I never plan to have any children (don’t feel badly for me… I really don’t want any) and Delali won’t let me dress her up and put bows and flowers in her hair and pose her for pictures and such (I’ve tried and the claws came out).  So, a Blythe would be perfect to fill that void in my life.

I suppose that I will have to resign myself to having a replica of the original Blythe doll.  That is what most people seem to have and collect these days as the originals aren’t exactly plentiful.  So… le sigh… I might have to seek out a knock-off.

So, what is so great about Blythes?

Firstly, they are just plain cute.  Their big head and big eyes and tiny bodies… they look like adorable alien Barbies.  And their eyes change colors and – if you are positively loaded – you can customize them out, with different hair colors, different eyefleck pieces, you can put make-up on them and even have their mouths painted in different expressions.  I’m a simpleton, I suppose, in that I would take one in any form I could get her.  Heck, I’m even bidding on one on eBay that only has one leg!  My Blythe standards are pretty low.  A Mother’s love is unconditional, two legs or one.

Secondly, I think it is fascinating that they were only produced for one year (1972) by Kenner.  They weren’t well received at all and stopped being produced after a very short run.  The ones produced in that year are all there is of the originals.  Some time later, the rights to Blythe were sold to Takara in Japan where she became very popular.  Some time after that, the U.S. caught on and we now love them too.  Incidentally, when they were first introduced in 1972, they sold for around $2 – 5.  Now, they go for upwards of $2,000 on eBay.

Thirdly, wouldn’t it just be fun to play with them?  I know that sounds odd for a 31-year-old woman to want to play with a doll but why couldn’t it be a hobby like knitting or any other?  There is a lot of creativity that goes into “playing” with a Blythe doll: sewing clothes, bags, hats, etc. for her; posing her; choosing her eye color; photographing her.  Many hobbies are wrapped into one with a Blythe doll and, from what I’ve heard, you get very attached to them as well.

Perhaps I want a Blythe because I desire to fulfill a dream that I don’t know I have.  Perhaps this is some kind of sub-conscious Freudian slip.  I don’t know.  All I know is that, as lame as it sounds, I want to have a Blythe at some point in my life, preferably sooner than later.

I mean, who wouldn’t love this face?

Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you, but trusting them not to.

I’m “buggered” (as my favorite Australian would say) tonight so this will just be a short, inspiration post. Until I muster up a longer post tomorrow, don’t forget to comment on my 200th post for a chance at my giveaway.

Night night everyone!

Today is the day. Today is my 200th post!

::: Horns blow and drums roll :::

As promised, I’m doing a little giveaway for my 200th milestone. For all of you regular commenters, leave a comment and I will put your name into a bowl and draw. (If you’ve just come across my blog and leave a comment here for the first time, you will not be entered to win. Sorry.) Regular commenters’ comments will be numbered in the order that they are posted. If you are a regular commenter and leave a comment, you will automatically be entered to win (you don’t have to request to be entered).

So… the prizes?

I’m giving away two subscriptions to Body + Soul magazine, one of my favorites.

I’m also giving away a goodie pack full of wonderful things! These are three separate prizes. Two people will get the magazines and one will get the goodie pack. If you are international, you will get the goodie pack. I don’t think that US magazines will ship overseas. Sorry! If I happen to draw TWO international readers, there will be two goodie packs and one subscription.

Whew! Get all that?

If not, feel free to ask questions.

I will take comments on this post until Monday afternoon and then I will draw. The winners will be announced right here Monday night.

My first 200 posts have been fun! Think I can do 200 more? We’ll have to see.

Thank you all for reading my ramblings!

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Since I’m kind of doing a giveaway promotion and all, I thought I’d also throw this in there. I have an Arbonne ID and only really promote it around Christmas time. Just a note to let you all know that in case you wanted or needed to order anything for Christmas.

(I highly recommend the Awaken Sea Salt Scrub. It is my favorite product! During the holiday season only, you can get smaller containers of it. They come in sets of three and are perfect for stocking stuffers, gift bags or little happies for people on your lists.

If you do want to order anything from Arbonne, this is how you will register on the site to buy through me. It is really very handy as you can use your credit card, have it shipped directly to you (no coming through me first) and I will get consultant credit for it (THANK YOU in advance!)

Steps for Client Registration:

Go to the Arbonne site and go to America – English.
Once there, click Shop Online.
Click Login (near the top of the page).
Once you are on the next page, go to the right block side and click on Client Registration.
On the next page, it will say Register Now – Enter Your Consultant’s ID.
My ID is 15993379
Then register with your Name, Address, Etc.

After registration, you can shop and get whatever you need, pay via Credit Card and have it shipped directly to your home.

This seems like a lot of instructions I know, but I don’t think it will be so long when you actually get in there.

If you have any problems or product questions, please let me know!

Thanks and happy shopping!

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To those Grey’s watchers… AVA COMES BACK TONIGHT!!!!!

My dear friend Leah hosts Wellness Wednesday (started by LunarMusings – check out her cool Etsy store!) over at her blog. In a nutshell, Wellness Wednesday is about all the ways we can take care of our bodies, our lives, our spirits. It is about coming up with little things to do, little suggestions to make for others to read and take into consideration, little things that have the potential to make our lives better in some little way.

I may not do Wellness Wednesday every Wednesday but, seeing as how I love Leah’s suggestions every week, I thought I would do at least a few here sometimes.

There’s more than one way to die. All at once or one day at a time.

Yes, it is super-corny that I’m quoting a TV show but this is a really powerful statement, no matter where it came from. There is so much to think about with this statement, at least for me.

This statement makes me think about another friend Melissa’s recent post, a post about living with intention, doing the most you can with your life or at least what you really want to do. As she says in her post, she doesn’t want it to take a tragedy for her to start living the way she really wants to live.

I don’t want that either. None of us do, I would wager.

So, my Wellness Wednesday suggestion is to make a list of all the things you WOULD do if you knew you only had a few months left on this planet, only a few months left with the resources you have, with the family you have, with your life as it is. What would you do in your last few months to make it perfect, to make it where you had no regrets?

For me it would be to spend less time online and less time watching TV and more time reading and playing with Delali (inasmuch as she would let me)…. It would be going outside more and taking daily walks…. It would be doing more yoga and eating less junk food…. It would be helping my Mom more and having long talks with her even more than I do now (even though I do have a lot of them now and I’m so happy about that)… It would be to have a good, solid, tension-free relationship with both of my siblings… It would be to know my Father a little better… It would be to have less and give more of what I have to others.

That’s just the short list.

What would be on your list?

Happy Wellness Wednesday. (Thanks, Leah!)

P.S. Thank you ALL for saying such kind things to me yesterday when I was super-sensitive and down-in-the-dumps. You are all such wonderful friends and I’m lucky to have you ALL!

Though my soul may set in darkness,
It will rise in perfect light.
I have loved the stars too fondly
To be fearful of the night.
–Sarah Williams 

It’s just one of those days.  I’m hypersensitive today and it feels like everyone is out to get me, like I’m swimming upstream.

I spent most of the afternoon crying over someone I used to be very close with, someone I’d like to be close to again, someone I can’t seem to please.

I offended someone with my post yesterday about Grey’s Anatomy.  I do love it but not enough to loose a friend over.

I’ve been lectured once today, indirectly and silently reprimanded and had two less-than-stellar emails.  I’ve had a headache all day and been told that I just need to get over everything that is bothering me.

And I will.  I know that today is just one of those days and after all, tomorrow is another day.  I also know that good things have happened today and that the bad should never over-shadow the good.

My close friends rallied around me when I was down.  They told me that it would all be okay and that I was a strong person, just what I needed to hear.  I talked to my nephew on the phone which always cheers me up.  I had a good yoga practice.  I got an Arbonne order, which is always good too.  And, best of all, Delali kissed away my tears when I was crying.

Every cloud does have a silver lining and I do love the stars too fondly to be afraid of the dark. Writing that down makes me realize that, despite a few disappointments, despite more tears than I should have shed, today wasn’t really so bad as I had thought before.

After all, tomorrow is another day and it will be a good one.  I know it.

So that no one will think that I have an addictive personality, I am going to call the following an obsession. I’m not sure which is worse.

The truth is that I’m wishing… pining… hoping… yearning… anticipating… awaiting… raring for Thursday. Why you ask?

Grey’s Anatomy.

I know, I know… it is SO cliche to watch and love and be obsessed with Grey’s Anatomy. You probably know at least twenty people who love it like I do. And, it is a bit pathetic, I know.

But, I love it, I do. I love McDreamy and McSteamy and ESPECIALLY Alex. And I can’t wait to see how they bring Ava back on Thursday night. And I hate Lexi being on there now and I HATE that McDreamy shows her any attention at all. And I can’t believe that two women are fighting over George. And I hate how ditzy Izzy acts and how clueless Meridith acts. I want Bailey to be back in charge and I want the Chief and Adele back together. And I’m so glad that Addison is finally gone because I just didn’t like her. And…

And… I know WAY too much about this show! I am WAY too involved with these characters. I mean… I actually talk about them like I know them, like they work at the local hospital. (Man, I wish they did.)

I’m about to go into anaphylactic shock.

Yet, every Thursday night (since I got hooked), I have have have to be near a TV. If I miss it, I go into withdrawal, like I’m coming off of crack cocaine or something. I get the shakes. I get headaches. I don’t sleep well. It is a horrid sight. (Disclaimer: I have never been on crack cocaine and don’t really know anything about the withdrawal from it. Mentioned only for dramatic effect and emphasis.)

A friend, who tried forever to get me to watch Grey’s, told me once that if I watched one episode, I would be hooked. Dang her… she was right.

I need my McDreamy. I need my McSteamy. I need my Alex and my Ava (TOGETHER!). I need Seattle Grace. Pathetic but true.

So all you Grey’s watchers, please come forth and make me feel better about this obsession. Tell me that you also love it. Tell me that you have to watch it every Thursday. Tell me that you long for Thursday like one might long for Christmas.

Or just tell me that I’m crazy.

Le sigh…

I’ve been putting this blog post off today, for some reason, mostly because I’m a procrastinator. It is 7:oo p.m. and I’m just now putting fingers to keys. What’s worse is that I really have no idea what to write about. But, I committed to NaBloPoMo and plan to stick it through.

Today found me packaging up some parcels to send out tomorrow. Some of them were sales from my Etsy store. Hooray on that! The others, however, were swap packages.

To be clear, I love swaps. Anyone who has gotten involved in them would probably agree that they are addictive. Well, they are. However, in the past couple of weeks, I’ve become so “addicted” that I’ve had to create a chart to keep them all separate.

This cannot happen again.

The truth is that my favorite part of a swap is sending things out and meeting great new people in BlogLand (although I’ve met some really not-so-great ones too… just how it goes, I guess). I have plenty of gift-y items here already to do hundreds of swaps. I like receiving things but not nearly as much as I like putting packages together. But, that takes time and, including shipping, it takes money.

So, while I love it, I have to practice restraint in future. In the immediate future, like after I fulfill the ones I’m currently committed to.

I find myself particularly tempted by book swaps, similar to the one I hosted here some time ago. I like sending out books and I like getting books. I always send books from my own collection; I never go and buy new books. Since I have over 2,000 books, I have plenty to pick from. Or so I thought. During these past few book swaps, I’ve found myself more reluctant than normal to select which books to part with. I will pick up a volume and say, “I might read that (again) sometime.”

But, I try to do justice by the book swaps (all swaps really). I have gotten some really great books in return including: Momma Zen, The Sixteen Pleasures, Caliph’s House, Tales of a Female Nomad. I just hope the books I send out are up to par.

Speaking of books… why is it that BOOKS are the very things that you loan and never get back? Why do people keep books when they know that they were loaned, not given? I don’t get this. I’ve loaned five books THIS YEAR that have not been returned. I might not ever read them again but I could give them in swaps and such. The bottom line is that since they are my books and were loaned in good faith and friendship, they should be given back. This is just a little pet peeve of mine, I guess.

Thanks for bearing with me through the rant.

So, my days at SwapDex will be few and far between now. I still do plan to host a Christmas swap here so be on the lookout for that. I’ve not worked out ALL the details for it yet but I hope it will be fun all the same. If you have suggestions for a Zazazu Christmas Swap, let me know!

I should get going. I need to go procrastinate more package-packaging.

See you all again tomorrow!

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You are standing at exactly the place towards which you have been traveling
for seven years or seventy years or seven hundred years.
Your reality is within you, it is not somewhere else.
But to understand the point, sometimes it takes years.
You knock on many doors before you come to your own door…
and then you are puzzled, because this is the house you had left
and this is the house you have been searching for.

~Osho from “Beyond Enlightment”