Some days.

Some days I just want to climb the highest mountain and proclaim to the world that I.  DON’T.  CARE.

Actually, that’s not true.  Most days I want to do that.

Most days (more and more lately) I want to go to a very remote place and just be.  For a long time.  Perhaps forever.  I want to hibernate there and busy myself with walks and meditation and appreciation of nature and animals and good coffee and good books and nothing else.  I want to talk to nothing but trees and squirrels and grass.  I want to listen to nothing but water in a stream or wind through trees.

And if I wanted that out of a desire to live simply and be quite, I think that would be okay.  But, I don’t.  I want it out of a desire to not be around people and to alleviate nonsense (I changed the word I had originally used for this one at the last minute).

At least a dozen times per day, I dream of running away, hibernating, changing EVERYTHING.  Some days I get so tired with everything that I really do feel like I.  DON’T.  CARE.

Except then I realize that I do care.  Very much.  If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t find myself so affected.

And some days I hate that.

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One thought on “Some days.

  1. Yesterday I was a ball of energy; today, not so much. Even my doctor can’t tell me whether the fatigue is depression or my fibromyalgia. Maybe you need to check with your doctor. (I already did.) So now I’m trying to just go with the flow. Too bad we don’t live near each other; maybe a visit from a friend would help. Take care.

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